


If You Could See Me Now

by knightargents



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, BFSecretSanta2019, Bullying, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M, Recovery, Timeskip, nothing explicit I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightargents/pseuds/knightargents
Summary: Inspired by mad_like_a_lynx's Interzone, an 80's au.When they had finally gotten to California for the wedding, Shorter and Ash shared a room. Despite Shorter needing to not stay in one place too long and his reluctance to see his sister get married to what was essentially a cop, the two boys stayed for two weeks. The wedding was beautiful, something Ash and Shorter both teared up at.My take on what happens when Shorter and Ash reach California, and what comes after.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Nadia Wong, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	If You Could See Me Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mad_like_a_lynx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad_like_a_lynx/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Interzone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401841) by [mad_like_a_lynx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad_like_a_lynx/pseuds/mad_like_a_lynx). 



> This is my gift for twt user madlikealynx on twitter for the #BFSecretSanta2019! 
> 
> Your story Interzone is one of my favorites. The beginning is a little au...I know it's not finished but this is what I think might happen LOL. The true AU is in the second half LOL. 
> 
> Also, I took some liberties with the timeline and the politics of the era.

When they cross the border from Nevada to California, it only takes them a few short car hops to finally get to Shorter’s sister’s place. Ash is quiet the whole time, nervous. He never expected to make it this far out west, let alone to something as happy as a wedding. He tells Shorter as much after he gets off the phone with his sister, considering how close the two of them got in the short span they knew each other.

"You sure your sis won't mind? I mean usually people bring a friend or girlfriend or something to a wedding. Not…ya know."

Shorter just stares at him over the wrapper of his Hershey's bar. "You are my friend though. I'm not bringin ya as some party hook up bro."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

And they leave it at that.

...

Nadia, who hasn’t seen her baby brother in years, or more likely because of this, crushes him in a bear hug as soon as she opens her front door. Despite his cool exterior and persona, Shorter buries his face in her short hair and pretends his shoulders don’t shake while he returns the tight hug.

Ash stands to the side holding their bags, feeling like more than an intruder.

It’s when Nadia pulls back that she notices him. “Oh! Um, hello there." she says warmly. Ash nods his head up towards her and gives her a small wave.

"This is Ash. He's with me." That's all the knowledge Shorter gives her for now. Nadia gives the boy a once over, noting his greasy hair and eye bags, the grass and dirt stains on the knees of his jeans, the duct-taped soles of his shoes. She nods and smiles wide. Her brother's heart has always been too good for this world, too open for others. She recognizes a hungry kid when she sees one.

“Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Ash. Charlie’s in the kitchen making lunch. Come in, come in!”

Ash nods stiffly before following Shorter inside. The boy takes off his shoes at the doorway and leans his bag against the wall. Ash watches him put them to the side before he does the same with whatever is left of his shoes.

Nadia, for all intents and purposes, forces herself to be calm. Her brother's always been the wild sort, so there's little he does that can surprise her but this? The whole punk getup? The kid with him that obviously has something wrong with him? Whatever, she decides. Now is not the time for questioning. They’re hungry and dirty, so priorities.

Ash stays a few steps behind Shorter, despite both of them being strangers in this apartment.

Ash listens to the sounds coming from the kitchen and hesitates a bit. He feels like an intruder into something he shouldn’t be allowed to see.

“Charlie! Guess who’s here!” Nadia says. Charlie puts down the wooden spoon he was using to stir the pasta and turns around, looking at...well, everything Shorter was offering at the moment.

“Oh! Keung?" says the redhead excitedly.

"Shorter," Shorter replies stiffly. Nadia winces from the side. Charlie's smile falters for a second before he forces himself to relax. Nadia’s told him all about the kid, so he mostly expected the response. It still stings a little, but if there’s anything Charlie is good at it’s wooing over a Wong.

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Shorter,” Charlie holds out his hand for a shake, to which Shorter reluctantly takes. "You guys must be hungry. I'm just finishing up some lunch if you want to sit down."

Shorter looks at the few chairs around the table before shrugging and sitting down. He glances at Ash, who's looking around the kitchen nervously. "Ash, come sit down next to me."

Ash jumps slightly before making his way over next to Shorter. The kitchen itself is small, table large enough for barely the four of them. The sun beating down on them from the window behind them keeps them warm. His eyes keep jumping from object to object, taking it all in while his hands nervously drum against the table.

After small chit-chat, the couple join them at their small table, setting the food down. Charlie and Nadia give them plates to serve themselves. They watch them pile food onto their plate, no doubt starving after their long trip. Shorter and Nadia have small talk while Charlie joins in here and there, happy to simply watch his fiance and her brother interact after so long. He's seen her grow more and more nervous each week after she invited him to the wedding, so he knows there's a lot of anxiety she's hiding right now. It's there and visible in the way her smile is slightly pinched and how she grips her silverware. Speaking of anxious, he's noticed the boy Shorter brought along with him. Notices the oily matted hair and dirt and grime stuck on his hoodie. He also sees how the boy almost never looks up at them, and hasn't said a word since he walked in. All he does is scarf down his food. Charlie promised Nadia he wouldn't talk about his work or say anything that can come off as confrontational to him, but bringing home a homeless kid has got to cross a line somewhere.

Nadia keeps throwing glances at the boy too, so it's not like Charlie is alone in his thoughts. When the kid - Ash, he remembers Shorter saying - finishes his food he starts picking at the napkin in his hand, ripping it up into little pieces. Charlie decides to take things into his own hand.

“So, both of you must be wanting to take a nice long bath and settle down after your trip. We have a couple extra pairs of pajamas we got for you two. We can talk about everything else once you two get settled more.”

…

In the guest bedroom, Ash touches the pajamas softly. There’s no tag attached, but he has no idea how he’s going to pay Nadia and Charlie back. He spent the last of his money getting s bag of Fritos and a drink out of some gas station once they were some 28 miles into California. There’s a few bills left. He’s pretty sure Charlie isn’t interested in a blowjob, and even so he won’t come between Shorter’s sister and her fiance. He’ll just work something out later. _It’ll be fine_ , he tells himself. _It’ll be fine_.

Behind him, he feels Shorter sort through his backpack on the ground. “Man, that was the most draining lunch I ever ate. I thought Charlie would never shut up.”

“He seemed...nice.”

“You barely talked to him dude. Actually is everything okay? You’ve been nervous since we got to Cali.”

Ash sighed. “I’m just. I’m not used to this.”

“What?”

“ _This_ ,” Ash waves his arm weakly around the room. “A room and a bed and food. I-” He cuts himself off. “Just weird, ‘s all.”

Shorter hums. “Yeah I know whatcha mean. They’re both so...stable and shit.” Shorter looks up from his bag at Ash’s back. Shorter’s heart pangs a little. “Listen, you shower first.”

That gets Ash to turn around. “But-”

“First off, you fucking reek. Second off, my sister my rules.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Ash says, an edge of mirth in his voice.

“It does too. C’mon I’m being nice here.”

“Okay, fine fine. I’m going. And for the record, you smell like shit too.”

Shorter just bursts out laughing at that.

…

Ash stands in the middle of the bathroom for a bit, holding the new pajamas. He just needs a moment alone, a moment of stillness.

The entire last few days were incredibly stressful, and the minute he walked in through the front door all his nerves were on edge. Nadia’s smile makes him nervous. Their clean kitchen makes him nervous. The smell of food and the homey atmosphere makes him nervous. And Charlie? Charlie makes him really, really nervous.

He sighs and puts the pajamas on the counter near the sink. He strips off his hoodie, pants, and socks and throws them in the hamper like Nadia asked him too. When he reaches his underwear he pauses, counts to 10, and slides them off as quick as he can before throwing them in the hamper as well.

Ash plays with the water settings until he hits a heat that’s good enough on his skin. After smelling all the soaps, he settles on some strawberry scented one. It takes him a while to scrub out his entire body, grime and sweat and dirt going down the drain. He even uses some of the face scrub he finds.

When he’s finally done, he feels like a whole different person. He even forgot how fluffy his hair once was.

…

While Ash showers, Shorter comes out into the living room. Nadia sees him and pats the couch next to her. He goes to sit next to her.

“Shorter, I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but your friend...is he okay? He seems. Off.”

Shorter sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “I don’t know Nads.” At her small huff of noise, he relents. “I know enough to tell you he’s not a junkie or anything,” he says, glancing nervously at Charlie who shrugs his shoulders in an ‘I don’t mind’ fashion. “We met at a trucker stop. He asked to come with me. He’s cool, though.”

“Okay,” Nadia says. There’s a slightly awkward pause between the three of them, no one knowing how to break it. “Well, as long as you’re both here, you’re welcome to any food or anything else you need. You both look so skinny. What’ve you been doing on the road?”

With that, Shorter smirks and starts to weave a tale of half-truths for his sister to hear while he waits for Ash to finish.

...

A couple nights later, Nadia turns to her fiance in their shared bedroom. The wedding’s in two days, and they just spent the entire early morning and afternoon finding tuxedos for the two boys to rent, despite both of their annoyance at wearing something so ‘stiffy’, as Shorter put it.

“So what do you think of him?” she whispers.

“Ash? He’s…” Charlie’s quiet for a long moment. “I’m not really sure what to think. At first I thought he was just awkward, but...”

“I know.”

“He’s skinny.”

“He’s hungry," she emphasizes.

They’re quiet for a long minute. Long enough that Nadia thinks he fell asleep.

“Nads, when you said your brother’s the punk type, I didn’t expect him to hang out with kid prostitutes.”

“ _Charlie_!” she scolds him.

He huffs through his nose. “Come on Nads. I know one when I see one. You know he gave me some crumpled up bills for the pajamas? I told him to keep them. Now I didn’t say Shorter was paying him, but wherever he found the kid, it was nowhere good. He’s much better here, I guess. And I have a feeling it’s the first time in a long time he’s felt, I don’t know, healthy? Safe? Even though it’s only been a few days.”

Nadia sighs. “Yeah. I just-"

“Go to sleep babe. You’re thinking too much again.”

Nadia smiles at his teasing tone. “You too.”

...

The wedding is beautiful. It’s small, only a few close friends and family members there. Shorter’s aunt is there, as well as a bunch of Nadia’s friends she made in California. Charlie has a few of his close friends and family too. They make Shorter the best man, to his fake reluctance before he gave a heartwarming speech at the wedding. Even though it’s only been a week, he saw a lot of changes in this little circle of his. Ash and Nadia grew really close, which surprised him. He saw Ash’s walls begin to fall when it came to her. It hurt him a lot at first, how Nadia got along better with Ash than with him, her own brother. He supposes that’s what happens when they’ve been apart for so long. But still, it hurts. At least with Charlie he knows she’s safe and happy, finally. He himself knows he’s only given her grief this entire time, even if she won’t admit it.

For now, though, he’s going to enjoy every minute of the wedding, even if he tears up when he sees Nadia happy for the first time in a long, long time.

...

It took only one week after the wedding for Shorter to finally drop the ball.

“So, I’m leaving,” Shorter says.

Ash wishes it came as more of a shock. Shorter is nothing if not a nomad. “Hm...I expected that.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“Well are you gonna come with me, then?”

At this, Ash is shocked. “You want me too?”

“Hell yeah, bro. I had more fun those few weeks on the road with you than anything else. It was, I don’t know, special.”

“Oh,” Ash supplies, blushing faintly. “I um, I’d love to.” The ‘but’ is heard loud and clear to Shorter’s ears.

“You’re not gonna come, are you? What, you got plans out here in Cali?”

“Actually yeah. I do. Um...I talked to Nadia and she said Charlie could help me get my GED. Plus I have a friend I know out here.”

“Oh.

“Yeah.”

“Plus, your sister’s hot.”

Shorter’s eyes bulge when they look at him, his mouth dropping. Ash smirks from his seat before Shorter catches on to the joke and snorts. He looks away from Ash for a second. “Listen, man. I’m gonna head out tomorrow morning. Nads already knows. She can tell Charlie,” he says with a hand wave. “Whatever...whatever you’re going through, what you went through already, I hope you resolve it.” Shorter looks up into Ash’s eyes, driving the sincerity home.

Ash smiles. It’s been so long since he’s had, well, someone to care for him like that. “Thanks… _Keung_.”

Shorter laughs and wipes a hand down his face. “Man, you’re the worst.”

Both boys break into giggles and smiles while the sun beats down through the window.

…

"You know they have these rallies now.” Ash overhears Charlie’s voice from the kitchen. “You remember all that talk of domestic violence a few years back? Well now there's been talk of expanding the federal budget for it."

“Oh? Do you think that would help you at work?” Nadia’s soft voice comes.

“Oh definitely. I think it’s a great idea. I’ve been pushing the chief to take it up, because there’s just so many women hurt by it these days, you know Nads?”

Ash’s curiosity can’t take it anymore, so he makes himself known. He stands at the entrance of the living room wearing the oversized hoodie Shorter left behind and some shorts. His knobby knees and sweater paws make him look younger than he is, and Charlie’s heart pangs for him.

"What are you guys talking about?” asks Ash innocently. The way he’s gripping his sleeve from the inside doesn’t go unnoticed but Charlie pretends to not see.

"Just about the new laws going into effect about domestic violence. Here," he hands Ash the newspaper article that started the entire late night conversation. "That’s the state paper. There’s been a lot of demonstrations in support of the bill.”

Ash reads the paper diligently. "Oh," he says after a minute. He read the entire two pages real quickly. Charlie’s been noticing over the past few days that Ash is incredibly smart. With the consistent food and care he’s been getting, he’s even managed to not look like he’s on the brink of death. How much was this kid deprived of, Charlie wonders.

“Yeah, it’s a big deal. There’s a lot of fighting it at the local and state level, but there’s nothing comprehensive or national. It’s a pain in the ass when someone we’re trying to catch crosses state lines.”

“When would it go into effect?” asks Ash.

“If it passes, which is looking like it will, probably next year or so. There’s some insider talk that the FBI’s already planning on expanding their sex traffiking unit. It’s not new though, but with the money in the bill it’ll have way more impact.”

“Don’t you need like, a degree or something to work with the government?”

“Usually yes, but it’s not that hard to get,” says Charlie.

“Oh,” says Ash. He looks back down at the words on the newspaper, thinking.

...

Charlie’s approaches Ash first after Shorter leaves.

“Hey,” he said warmly.

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?”

“With Shorter gone? I don’t know. A little empty, I guess.”

Charlie smiles. It took a lot to get Ash to open up to them, and there’s still a lot of room to go, but proving they were a safe place to be worked wonders on the kid. “Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as possible. Whenever you’re ready to take the next step, be it GED or whatever, me and Nads will help, okay?”

Ash pauses for a second, looking Charlie over. “Actually…”

…

It takes three and a half weeks for Ash’s new ID to come in the mail, as well as a reissued social security number. Another three days for him to be able to take the first few exams. Nadia suggested spreading them out over the course of the week. Ash wasn’t worried about them, but each one was a bit long and the last thing he had patience for was to sit in a chair for hours on end.

When the last of the exam is over and Ash gets his result, he comes out into the hallway to see Nadia and Charlie waiting for him. He’s smiling, dressed in his own clothes he bought with the small job they helped him get.

“How’d it go?” Nadia asks him.

Ash beams up at her and pulls out the printed results sheet. “I passed! They said they’d mail it in two weeks!”

“That’s amazing! I knew you could do it” beams Charlie. “Come on, we have to celebrate. There’s an ice cream shop right at the corner of the school.”

As they all sat around the outside table and ate their treats, Ash started talking. “Um, listen. I think I’m gonna head out, soon. I have a friend north from here, a little, and I was planning on staying with him.”

Nadia looks to him. In the while he’s stayed there with them, he’s changed a lot. She thinks back to the boy that her brother brought to her doorstep, halfway to starvation and utterly filthy. When she looks at the Ash in front of her, she almost doesn’t recognize the boy in her memories. He looks back at her with trepidation. It’s no secret to any of them how much he’s grown to respect her and how comfortable he’s grown around her.

“Okay,” Nadia says. “Do you know when you plan to go?”

“Yeah. I was thinking end of the week after this. I was gonna put in my two weeks tomorrow, actually.”

“You know we’re not going to kick you out, right?” asks Charlie. “I thought it was pretty clear you’re welcome to stay as long as you need.”

“I think,” Nadia started, eyes not leaving Ash, “that Ash has been planning this for a while.”

Ash rubs the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. “Actually...it was kind of my plan the entire time. I just never knew how I was gonna get here, or what I’d do when I got here. I never really imagined to meet Shorter or you two.”

Charlie beams. “Well, I’m glad you were able to. Listen, me and Nads, we’ll support you no matter what. Our home is yours, too.”

Ash looks down at his mostly eaten ice cream. He blinks his eyes fast, willing the sudden tears away. The words sound foreign to him. The concept of a home is something he hasn’t known for practically his whole life. When he used to think of it, only one boy came to mind. Now? Now there’s even these two strangers offering it. He wants to stay, he does. Ultimately though, he knows he can’t. They’re two newlyweds, and he’s still practically a stranger.

“Thank you, but I...I have to go. I’ll try to write, though.”

“Okay,” Nadia says, reaching over to ruffle his hair a bit, “okay.”

…

Approximately two weeks later, Ash is standing in front of an apartment door waiting for it to unlock. His anxiety is through the roof. Ash takes a deep breath, knocking on the door. The rolled up newspaper Charlie gave him all those weeks ago is folded carefully in his bag. He can feel Fish twitch in his breast pocket, the scribbled address under his original message coating it’s wings. Ash hears the footsteps behind the door before it opens, revealing-

“Eiji,” Ash says, voice soft. He’s crushed in a tight hug, pulled into the shorter boy’s embrace. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his own around his waist, breathing in his scent. Like this, Ash finally breathes out.

* * *

The man sits at the counter, drink in his hand while he checks his watch. His tailored suit, slicked back hair, and polished shoes make him stand out in the room. The rest of the people in the room mill about, various drinks and conversations making the rounds. A banner hangs from the wall that states ‘20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY’.

Since he’s been here, at least two women had hit on him, one already heavily pregnant with no wedding ring in sight.

Across the room, another blonde man spots him and makes his way over.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Ash Callenreese,” came the voice from none other than the man he was waiting all week to see, Frederick Arthur.

_Bingo_ , thinks Ash. “Oh, hello there,” he says as he puts his drink down and turns toward him. “Long time no see.”

“Long time indeed. You lookin’ all snazzy tonight. You sure did clean up.”

Ash gives Arthur a quick once over, noting the grease stain on his baggy jeans before offering a smile. “Can’t say much has changed otherwise, though.”

“Y’know, I don’t remember seeing you at graduation. In fact you kinda disappeared.” Arthur leans on the counter. He’s wearing a cheap worn polo. Ash can’t help but think of the irony of their two positions, how completely different they were from 20 years ago.

“Yeah, I decided to leave. Travelled the country a bit until I ended up in California. I actually live there, now. Why? Has a lot changed since I left?” Around them are around 35 others in their graduating class, more pouring in every few minutes since the doors opened an hour ago.

Arthur taps his glass before shrugging. “Nah, not much.”

“Wow, I’m a little surprised,” Ash says, smile on his face. “Here I thought you said you were going to the big leagues and marrying your girlfriend.”

Arthur starts to look a little uncomfortable, which has honestly been Ash’s entire reason to come here. “Heh, nah man. We uh, broke up after high school.” There’s a pregnant pause before Arthur smirks and opens his mouth again. “I mean, it’s not like most people stayed with the people they dated back then. If I remember, that Asian dude you fucked left you right before you disappeared.” He stares at Ash, expecting a reaction.

Ash, much to his disappointment, only smiles. “Oh, you mean Eiji? My husband? Yeah we actually met up in California a few months after I left school. We didn’t start fucking until after though, sorry to disappoint.”

Arthur clenches his glass. “Nah nah man, no hard feelings here. Just teasing, y’know.” He sucks on his cheek to hide his feelings.

“SO,” Arthur senses he said that a little loudly so he clears his throat. “You in California now? What you do over there?”

Ash can tell Arthur’s waiting for the perfect moment to leave, but Ash won’t give it to him. “Oh, it’s nothing really. Just a local branch of the FBI out there. Actually I just got promoted to head investigator. It’s been pretty busy, flying back and forth between states but the pay is sweet as hell. What about you?” Arthur rubs the back of his head the more Ash talks. “You seriously haven’t been up to anything these past two decades?” If Ash puts a little emphasis on the last word, that’s his business alone. “No girlfriends, no job, nothing?”

“I ah, just got promoted to manager, actually.”

“Oh, sweet! You work downtown? All the bigger companies are out there.”

“Actually it’s a…” Arthur mumbles the last part.

“I’m sorry, my hearing must be a bit bad with the loud music. I didn’t catch what you said.”

“It’s the dollar store down the street by a few blocks, is what I said.”

“ _Oh_. Well someone has to do the little jobs, am I right?” Ash laughs and elbows Arthur in a friendly way. He’s definitely dry-cleaning this jacket when he gets the chance.

There’s another awkward pause before Ash takes a sip of his drink. “So you and Eiji, huh?” Arthur sneers.

Ash doesn’t react. He’s used to comments from nearly everyone about being with another man. “Yeah. It’s nice to have a lover to come home to, you know?”

Arthur glares at him a bit, failing to hide his anger. “I mean yeah, sure. I got a couple baby mama’s here and there, so…”

Ash barely hides his disapproval as he gives him one last slow once-over before looking at his watch and downing the rest of his drink. “Well, I have to go. My plane leaves pretty early tomorrow morning. Don’t want to lose a first-class ticket, you know how it is,” he smiles.

Arthur stumbles a bit before standing up again. He’s a few inches shorter than Ash. “Yeah, yeah sure. Nice to see you again, I guess.” He doesn’t even begin to hide his distaste.

“Sure. Nice talking to you again, James.”

Arthur looks at his retreating back, brows furrowed in anger. “James?!”

As Ash stands outside the school waiting for his taxi, he smiles. He’s tired, exhausted from this whole ordeal. Eiji was adamant on not coming, but Ash needed this. He had to see what he left behind, and now that he had confirmation that it wasn’t much, he was ready to go home to his cat, dog, and his Eiji.


End file.
